Bob Palmer, a very informative writer and one of my Facebook friends, posted this non-political joke...which I am still laughing over while trying to share it with you! A little break from Reality can be so refreshing...
Palmer Jr. Why did the chicken cross the road?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
...
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: To the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and how he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider info.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Hey...I'm back!!
It's been a long time since I've written on my blog! I've been so busy writing articles on Triond.com that I actually forgot that I had started this site on Blogger. Now...if you think I'm exagerating even just a teeny bit, go to www.triond/M-J-katz.com where you'll see over 50 articles written on various topics such as politics, comedy, living with cats, and even a few poems I courageously attempted! Lol!
My husband, his 19 year old son, Adam, and I have just moved to Las Vegas, Nevada along with our two cats, SpiceGirl and Noodleman. We were last in Lincoln, Nebraska but the job situation there sucks so we decided to come to the city that we've always loved...and were married in, too...in order to increase our chances of becoming employed!
Wish us luck because this was one hell of a decision...scary and so final, moneywise. It's a 'do or die' situation but WE'RE GOING TO DO IT!! And we're a lot closer to California now where so many family and friends are just 5 or 6 hours away! WE CAN VISIT THEM NOW!! Lol!
We have a small one-bedroom apartment at the present time...with a 6-month lease...but as soon as we save up more money, we plan on renting a house or 2-bedroom apartment because the KITTIES ARE DRIVING ME NUTS!
Everywhere I turn, there's either a cat sleeping on my side of the bed, or curled up in my computer chair! Did I say, "a cat"? Well, that needs to be amended because Noodleman The Knave isn't the culprit this time. It's the Innocent One who always played second fiddle to the knave in our previous home.
SpiceGirl has quickly developed the attitude that this new home belongs to her, and that she just allows the rest of us to live here...providing we abide by her 'rules'. But I don't know how long SpiceGirl is going to live if she keeps laying down in the middle of the living room floor where most of the foot traffic occurs!
However, Noodleman has the right idea...he found a spot in the bedroom closet that he now calls his domain. Safe...dark...and out of the way. And, believe me, he has let it be known that this area belongs to him, too. Ha ha ha. A little hiss goes a long way, apparently. SpiceGirl is allowed to look inside the closet door much as a kid looks through the window of a candy store but that's it. Lol!! She knows better than to try and claim this little piece of 'real estate' along with the rest of the apartment!
But don't get all sad for her because SpiceGirl has her own routine around here besides claim-jumping beds and chairs. For example, she won't let anyone go into the bathroom without an escort...she constantly jumps up on the kitchen countertops to see what I'm doing while knocking down salt and pepper shakers, papers, keychains, and anything else that may have been temporarily placed there for safekeeping...and has claimed the best kitty bed on the Cat Tree by the kitchen window!
Noodleman may have been the King in our previous home but now the mantra seems to be LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!
However, since it's just the first week of living here, I'm sure things could change a bit because when you're dealing with kitties, anything is possible!
Have a good one! :)
My husband, his 19 year old son, Adam, and I have just moved to Las Vegas, Nevada along with our two cats, SpiceGirl and Noodleman. We were last in Lincoln, Nebraska but the job situation there sucks so we decided to come to the city that we've always loved...and were married in, too...in order to increase our chances of becoming employed!
Wish us luck because this was one hell of a decision...scary and so final, moneywise. It's a 'do or die' situation but WE'RE GOING TO DO IT!! And we're a lot closer to California now where so many family and friends are just 5 or 6 hours away! WE CAN VISIT THEM NOW!! Lol!
We have a small one-bedroom apartment at the present time...with a 6-month lease...but as soon as we save up more money, we plan on renting a house or 2-bedroom apartment because the KITTIES ARE DRIVING ME NUTS!
Everywhere I turn, there's either a cat sleeping on my side of the bed, or curled up in my computer chair! Did I say, "a cat"? Well, that needs to be amended because Noodleman The Knave isn't the culprit this time. It's the Innocent One who always played second fiddle to the knave in our previous home.
SpiceGirl has quickly developed the attitude that this new home belongs to her, and that she just allows the rest of us to live here...providing we abide by her 'rules'. But I don't know how long SpiceGirl is going to live if she keeps laying down in the middle of the living room floor where most of the foot traffic occurs!
However, Noodleman has the right idea...he found a spot in the bedroom closet that he now calls his domain. Safe...dark...and out of the way. And, believe me, he has let it be known that this area belongs to him, too. Ha ha ha. A little hiss goes a long way, apparently. SpiceGirl is allowed to look inside the closet door much as a kid looks through the window of a candy store but that's it. Lol!! She knows better than to try and claim this little piece of 'real estate' along with the rest of the apartment!
But don't get all sad for her because SpiceGirl has her own routine around here besides claim-jumping beds and chairs. For example, she won't let anyone go into the bathroom without an escort...she constantly jumps up on the kitchen countertops to see what I'm doing while knocking down salt and pepper shakers, papers, keychains, and anything else that may have been temporarily placed there for safekeeping...and has claimed the best kitty bed on the Cat Tree by the kitchen window!
Noodleman may have been the King in our previous home but now the mantra seems to be LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!
However, since it's just the first week of living here, I'm sure things could change a bit because when you're dealing with kitties, anything is possible!
Have a good one! :)
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