Bob Palmer's "Why did the chicken cross the road" joke. So many reasons! Lol!

Bob Palmer, a very informative writer and one of my Facebook friends, posted this non-political joke...which I am still laughing over while trying to share it with you!  A little break from Reality can be so refreshing...    




Palmer Jr. Why did the chicken cross the road?




SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!



BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

...

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.



HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.



GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.



DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?



COLIN POWELL: To the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.



BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.



AL GORE: I invented the chicken.



JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.



AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.



DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.



OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.



ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and how he walks.



PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.



MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider info.



DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.



JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.



GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.



ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.



BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.



ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?



COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Senator Harry Reid's Ancestor...The Apple Didn't Fall Far From The Tree?

This was posted on a Comments site concerning how our politicians still keep refusing to listen to the majority of the American citizens.  I felt I had to share this bit of info with you because no matter what side of the political aisle you're on, this is FUNNY!! 






It just all depends on how you look at some things..



Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree.



She discovered that Senator Harry Reid's great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.



The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory:



On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: 'Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'



So Judy recently e-mailed Senator Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.



Harry Reid:





Believe it or not, Harry Reid's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:



"Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."





NOW THAT's how it's done, Folks!

That's real POLITICAL SPIN

Flag 22 people liked this. Liked star52 15 hours ago in reply to Dale_Jeu

Thank you, Dale_Jeu, for sharing this with us!   God bless America!

Here's A Great Idea To Fix Our Economy!

I happened to find this tonight on a TeaParty website...and it was both humorous AND full of commonsense.  Just think about this as you read the posting below;  if Obama had done what this posting suggests, we probably WOULD be better off right now!  Take a look;





Pretty Funny EmailPosted by Kenny Woods on November 11, 2010 at 2:35pm


Send Message View Kenny Woods's blog

.I just received this email and thought it was pretty funny. Just sharing the laugh.





Dear Mr. President,



Please find below my suggestion for fixing America 's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the "Patriotic Retirement Plan":



There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:



1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.



2) They MUST buy a new AMERICAN Car. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.



3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.



It can't get any easier than that!



P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress pay their taxes...



Mr. President, while you're at it, make Congress retire on Social Security and Medicare. I'll bet both programs would be fixed pronto!

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